Specialist Psychological Counselor ASLI BOZBEY AKALIN tells the story of an extended family with the birth of a baby.
What a beautiful flurry… Baby room preparation, search for names, doctor appointments in the excitement, the most enjoyable shopping in the world, sleepless nights, dreams and much more n Finally countdown is finished, to reach the happy end, the world's most beautiful baby to remain minutes. And finally, your princess - your prince is in your arms.
From that moment on, you step into a completely different world. Indescribable emotions, inability to believe the end of pregnancy, anxiety, enthusiasm, all mixed up now. You say goodbye to the order you have lived until that day and set sail for a new life. Not a couple, you are family !!!
As the baby joins the family, the balance within the extended family begins to change. Grandparents, grandparents, uncles, aunts enjoy their new status. In the first days when the baby joins the family, everyone is drunk with happiness. Often, no one is aware of the intense feelings of the mother / father, especially the mother. Yet for that he is seeking ways to adapt to this great change in his life.
Most of the time, the grandmother / grandmother is always there to help the fresh mother. This is a blessing as well as sometimes paves the way for unwanted conflicts. They want to use their grandmother / grandmother experiences in baby care and guide the mother accordingly. Because the fresh mother is inexperienced for the elders, and no matter how old she is their child. It is the duty of adults to show the truth. This situation may start to stretch and disrupt relations. To prevent this, before birth, while everyone is calm, “Mommy, I will need you and your experiences the most after the baby is born. However, if you allow me, I would like to raise my baby by using the methods that I assimilated based on what I have read, our doctor's suggestions, my friends' shares and of course your experiences / suggestions. Azalt may reduce the impact of future crises and even prevent crises. Even if the crisis is to be experienced, it is less frustrating to come before the baby arrives and the effects of the crisis will be absorbed until the baby arrives.
It is always important to define your limits as a family. Otherwise, conflicts are inevitable. When you step into parenthood, your parents try to confront the different emotions of this transition and change, as much as their pride in being grandparents and grandparents. Just yesterday, the little ones wrapped around their legs have become parents. He's gone one step further. They were surprised, excited, and so on. they relive emotions. It is not easy for many people to get used to and adapt to the new situation. It'il take some time.
In this period when you are trying to get used to life with your baby and your marriage is going to a new phase, it is not wise to keep them out of this process completely or to involve them completely. You may be able to experience this transition more peacefully by kindly reminding you that you expect them to adapt to the order you have set for your own family. Although it is not as easy to implement as we are told, we can find a suitable way to communicate this request to the other party in a suitable language without breaking them as much as possible.