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If your preschooler seems ready for toilet training but simply refuses to use the potty, put it away for a few weeks. As you know, 3- and 4-year-olds often say no even when they want to say yes — and they're even more likely to say no when they sense that you want them to say yes. Give your child a little while to get out of the refusal pattern; then both of you can have a fresh start.
Before you try again, wait for a time when your child's daily life is fairly routine and stable. Since toilet training requires your child to learn new patterns of behavior, it's best if she doesn't have to adapt her learning to a variety of settings, irregular hours, or a number of different caregivers. If your days are hectic and unpredictable (longer hours because of a job promotion or the birth of a second child), you may want to delay toilet training until things settle down a bit. Alternatively, you can think about adding more structure to your child's life (making her play group or daycare schedule more regular; setting up a consistent routine for the day's activities) to make things more predictable.
From a purely physical standpoint, children do better with potty training if they are on a fairly regular bedtime and mealtime schedule. A schedule also makes it easier to tell when your child may be ready to use the potty.
When you begin toilet training again, make sure you've chosen a potty your child is comfortable with. If it's a small potty chair, let her personalize it; she could paste stickers or write her name on it. If she's using a potty seat with your regular toilet, make sure she has a stool so she can get on and off it easily. Preschoolers hate to feel insecure or precarious. She can also use the step stool to stabilize herself with her feet when she has a bowel movement.
Don't expect your child to immediately make the connection between sitting on the potty and actually using it. First, have her just sit on the potty for a few minutes at regular intervals fully clothed. If your preschooler is willing to do this for a week straight, she may be ready to take the next step and try it bare-bottomed. If she pees while she's sitting there, she'll make the connection herself, and after a while she'll figure out how it feels when she needs to go. Some children put all of this together quickly, but others take much longer; don't worry if your child falls into the latter group.