By Aarti Khatwani Bhatia
This may sound strange, but far before a child first experiences separation anxiety, a mother goes through it. I wrote a letter to my baby trying to explain this unexpected phase I went through after she was born.
I want to tell you about something I went through when I was expecting you. You were a part of me for a long-long time. During the end of that time, I kind of started to wish that you would come out and into my arms soon. Having you in my lap was like having a dream come true. But it also meant that you were no longer a part of me.
It's really hard to explain why this was so tough to deal with. My love, when you were with me, within me, I used to speak with you all the time. I used to be aware of my thoughts and felt that you were reading them through me.
You heard the same songs I did and so I chose my music very carefully.
You watched what I saw, and so I dedicated time to seeing beautiful things.
You ate what I ate, and so my meals became more nutritional than enjoyable; just saying, baby!
Everything was about 'us' - you and I. During those 9 months of co-existence, I shared a short life, within this life,with you.
And while having you play and laugh in my arms was magical, I caught myself doing funny things -- like talking to you in my head, not realizing that you are outside of me now, so my thoughts need to be spoken out loud for you toknow them now.
Being away from you feels like being away from myself; it feels like a very important part ofme is missing. And that is why I love you more than anything else, because you are the most amazing part of me - more than I myself have ever been on my own.
As time goes by and you grow bigger and bigger, as much as I will love seeing you grow into the awesome, independent personality that you are, our world-within-a world-phase is something I will hold close to my heart, till the end of time.
Aarti describes herself as a new mother, turned aspiring writer. She is a poet at heart, an artist by desire, and a marketer by degree. She writes as a way of seeing the wonderful side to motherhood, rather than focusing on the hardships that she, and every mother, has faced. She started writing letters to her daughter so she can grow up and know that being a mother to her has been a joyous experience. Follow her blog, Letters to Piya. And find her on Facebook.
Photos from iStock
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