When you’re pregnant it’s almost like you’re suddenly thrust into an alternate universe of the most inappropriate questions imaginable. From weight gain to breast size, people comment on everything.
And of all the craziness that comes out of people’s mouths, I think the worst of it is the awful, “was it planned?!?” question. Why, why would anyone think that’s a great question to ask? I mean, let’s be honest, not all pregnancies are planned. But clearly that’s really none of anyone’s business.
I remember the first time I heard the question I was just kind of aghast. I really don’t even remember what I said. By the time I was pregnant with my fourth, I felt like I need to wear a sign that said, “Don’t ask me if she was planned. Yes, I have my hands full and yes she’s a girl, but please don’t tell me THANK GOD when you see my three boys. A fourth boy would have been fine, thank you very much.”
Members of the our site Community have long worked to come up with good responses to the “was it planned” question bomb. Put these in your pocket for the next stranger who asks.
1. “Was what planned?” Toss that at them and just let the awkward moment fester.
2. “Yes, of course. And it was AMAZING.” Awkward x 1000.
3. “I keep meaning to find out how babies are made, but I've just been so busy.”
4. “Was that question planned?”
5. “Depends on who you ask.” And then *wink*.
6. “Yes, it was planned by God.”
7. “We've always wanted children.”
8. “No, I really don’t know how this happened.” Warning though, that might lead to a whole different conversation you never wanted to have in the supermarket line.
9. “Why do you ask?”
10. “The sex was, but the baby was a bonus.”
11. “This was the best surprise of my life.”
12. “Isn't everything part of a bigger plan?”
13. “Damn straight!”
14. “Wow, that’s a really personal question!”
15. “Does it matter?”
16. “We are so excited!”
17. “Bow chicka wow wow..." Seriously can someone please do this and report back?
18. “Have you ever read the book Fifty Shades of Grey?....” and then trail off and bite your lip.
19. “The baby was, the stretch marks were not.”
20. “It’s a miracle, isn't it?”
I suppose the right thing to do is to just go with the flow and hope that everyone means well, even if they don’t. And I know we should all just answer with grace, but really, what's the fun in that?
Opinions expressed by parent contributors are their own.